How Do I Get Through the Two Week Wait?

The "two-week wait" is when time appears to slow down while you wait to find out if you are pregnant from your fertility treatment.

During the two-week wait, you might become hyper-aware of every physical sensation and wonder if each one is your body's way of telling you whether or not you’re pregnant. You might be distracted as you fixate on the results of your upcoming pregnancy test, or frustrated that there’s nothing you can do but wait. Here are some suggestions for not just surviving, but thriving during this trying time:

NEST AND NURTURE YOURSELF

Because fertility treatments are stressful for both body and mind, your two-week wait is a perfect time to get plenty of rest and relaxation. You deserve it! Keeping this in mind, give yourself permission to take a nap or go to sleep early. Try gentle yoga or brisk walks in place of high-impact exercise. Enjoy a calming massage!

Nurture yourself by ‘nesting’ internally and externally. Make sure your diet is nutritious and delicious. Make yourself feel comfortable and safe in your home environment. Nurturing yourself with rest and relaxation is not just a healthy method of lowering your stress level, but also a way to create a healthy environment for your baby.

TUNE INTO YOUR BODY

The nature of the two-week wait is one of mystery. While conception remains a giant question mark, understanding what your body is experiencing may help you let go of anxiety.

During the two-week wait, you may be taking post-treatment medications is to promote an optimal environment for pregnancy, but they can cause side effects. You may experience many of the physical sensations you would normally experience during PMS or pregnancy: cramping, breast tenderness, fatigue, bloating, spotting, or light bleeding. Know that these symptoms, while annoying, are normal and common.

Try your best to not focus on these symptoms.  Many women have no symptoms at all and end up with a healthy pregnancy. You may even experience vaginal bleeding – this does not exclude pregnancy. For this reason, everyone needs to come for a pregnancy test. And remember that if you constantly squeeze and poke your breasts to assess their soreness, they will get sore!

HONOR YOUR FEELINGS

The two-week wait can produce a flood of emotions to process, sometimes all at once. Your partner, a trusted friend, or a family member can be a wonderful resource to help you balance and work through your feelings. Set aside times to share what you’re feeling with your loved one. Think about what support you’ll need if the news is not positive, and ask for that support. Sometimes, just letting thoughts flow freely is enough to release nervousness and negative thoughts.

If you have told a number of people that you are undergoing fertility treatments, then you may be getting lots of questions. If this starts to get to you, appoint a spokesperson for yourself (sibling, best friend, etc.) One option that can eliminate the need to call with bad news is to let your friends and family know that ‘no news is bad news.’

During this time, be picky with the people you surround yourself with. Feel free to avoid the unsympathetic friends, the overly fertile friends, and the “takers” instead of the “givers”.  Plan to see those who entertain you, nurture you, and distract you.  If you need an official excuse, you can consider yourself under doctor’s orders to avoid baby showers.

Although it can be hard, try to balance the fine line between your state of mind and reality. There is no right way to feel.  For some, it is much easier to cope with the days of waiting by feeling hopeful and optimistic; for others it feels more comfortable to protect themselves by feeling pessimistic.  One way to make it easier for all coping styles is to have a “plan B” – the “what if the treatment cycle fails” plan.  Whatever you’re feeling and thinking after a treatment, make sure that you have an appointment for a consultation with your doctor.

RESIST TEMPTATION

Although it may be one of the most difficult tips for thriving during your two-week wait, resist the temptation to perform a home pregnancy test. Your fertility specialist will explain that home pregnancy tests, while tempting, can render either a false negative or a false positive. These tests often rely on human chorionic gonadotropin (hCG) levels, and traces of the hCG used in many fertility treatments to trigger ovulation may be detectable by a home pregnancy test, regardless of whether implantation has actually occurred.

The pregnancy test you receive in our office at the end of your two-week wait is performed by drawing blood and measuring the hCG levels produced by the developing embryo. This is the single most reliable pregnancy test. 

REFRAME YOUR THOUGHTS

If you find yourself stuck on any one thought or cycle of thoughts, it can be useful to experiment with reframing. Notice the idea that you're stuck on. How can you frame it in a more positive light? For example, if you're thinking ‘this test will be negative,’ reframe the thought to something more positive – ‘I am open to the possibility of being pregnant’ or ‘it might have worked.’ 

BE GENTLE WITH YOURSELF

Care for yourself in your day-to-day schedule. If any of your usual activities cause you to stress, limit those activities. Your fertility specialist will inform you of any specific activities that you should avoid, but in general it's a good idea to favor lower-impact activities. It's also a good idea to check in with your nurse about possible travel plans.

Make a date with your partner (if applicable) for the night of your pregnancy test. If it is positive, you can drink lots of nonalcoholic champagne.  If it is negative, it gives you the time to be together, mourn away from family and friends, and plan together the next step.

TRUST YOUR BODY

Your body is a brilliant operating system. Return to this thought if you find yourself struggling to cultivate patience. Affirmations, support groups, meditation, counseling, and journaling are some options for letting go of negative beliefs about your body or your future. Hold positive thoughts about your body and inner landscape.

The more you trust in yourself, the easier it is to remain patient through your two-week wait!

At the end of the day, remember that once your IUI or embryo transfer has taken place, there is nothing that you can or cannot do to influence the outcome. It is out of your control. Feelings of pessimism don’t change the outcome, getting angry at someone won’t change the outcome, and bouncing off the walls won’t change the outcome. You are officially off the hook. And remember: your team is available to you during this waiting time. If you have questions or concerns, don’t sit at home and stew – call! If we don’t hear from you, we’ll see you very soon for your pregnancy blood test.